Wednesday, April 25, 2012

God Pulled My Ponytail

I can't believe it's almost May. School is over in May. Not until the 31st but it's still May. My students are done with STAAR testing and as far as I am concerned my summer has started. I am so burnt out, done, over it. Call it what you want, but I know if I feel this way so do my kids.

In my last post I mentioned my husband, and how I was working on being more submissive. VERY hard for me to do. But I think I have been getting better. I am praying A LOT. Last week I had this epiphany on my way home from work. Cody had been working crazy hours and I was pretty much home every evening by myself with the kids doing all of the duties alone. I dread these two weeks every few months when he goes on this rotation. It's tough. Not that I can't do it and never have before but I have come to depend on him so much. It sounds like I should be more submissive than I am. Ha. During these two weeks I am very on edge because I am so worried about getting lunches made, dinner cooked, baths, and bed at a certain time. There are more times than not that I am very short with my kids, raise my voice, and let curse words slip out. I hate it. I feel like the rest of the families at Walmart you see without shoes or teeth yelling at their kids.  So, as I am driving home I get this insight of reality. Anytime this happens to me this mental picture flashes in my head of God standing behind me pulling my ponytail, giving me a little tug, and saying, "Ugh, Casey....WAKE UP" This is what he says to me, "Why do you treat your own children this way after not being with them all day long? You are not allowed to yell or curse at the kids you teach who don't even belong to you." That was it. And that's all it took for me to realize what needed to change. I do believe Cody and I do the best of job as we know with these boys. No, I do not know everything about life, marriage, or my children, but I will keep praying for God to "pull my hair" when I need to wake up!


 My neighbor made Luke homemade knee pads. The poor kid can't keep his knees well.
 Headed to school with Jake's lunchbox


Jake had his first t-ball game last Saturday.

5 comments:

  1. You are a good Mommy and we all need to be tugged every once in awhile! Remember you are never alone when it comes to MommyHood - call me I can tell you all the things I shouldn't have done! Hang in there and keep praying - you and your sweet family are always in our prayers!!!!

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  2. You are the best Mom in the world...you are kind and patient and loving with your children..you are much too hard on yourself..there was only one perfect man and they crucified him anyway...you are a better Mom than your own Mom and she was not tooo crazy...lol...I know because someone told me so...Ha! Ha!
    Mom

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  3. Love the new pic on your blog! :) And you are not alone!! I too find myself "losing it" and become impatient with the kids, when all I need to do is take a breather and say a prayer. I told my girlfriend that I need to pray for more patience and she said no, ask for wisdom...I think she is right! Hang in there...you are the best Mommy for those boys...God chose YOU to be their Mommy!

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